Lenten Buddies!

This past Lent, I was privileged and humbled to be a part of the Lenten Prayer Buddy program, wherein you are assigned a person for whom you are to pray throughout Lent. That person does not know who is praying for her and her intentions, but knows that all will be revealed after Easter (sounds so mystical, doesn't it?). AND, that's not all! Some other mysterious person is assigned to pray for YOU during Lent, too!

Today, I received a most awesome email from the wonderful Marie at Joy Beyond the Cross: she had been assigned to pray for me throughout this Lent! And, she had a HUGE job, what with this being the "Lent of William Luke and His Adventures in NICU". I "got the chills" when I realized that she had been praying for Will and our family during that entire time. Do you know that there were days where I knew it was solely the prayers of others that were permitting me to put one foot in front of the other? Now I have a name for one of those indomitable prayer warriors: MARIE! Marie brought me JOY and I didn't even know she existed until today!

We all have the ability, through Christ, to affect the lives of others for the better through the simple act of praying for them. Prayer is a beautiful and powerful thing!

He's Here!!

William Luke arrived just 2 days after my last post -- yes, folks, he's a Leap Day Baby! People assure me that his unusual birth date will be "just a fun quirk!", but my OCD tells me differently. ;-)

While he was scheduled to be born early at 34 weeks (due to his sister's exciting birth!), Will decided that he didn't want to be "scheduled" and arrived at 32 weeks -- 8 weeks early! Our sweet preemie boy weighed in at 5 pounds, 1 ounce and was 17 inches long. He was as healthy as a horse and only needed a little help with breathing during the first 36 hours.

Will did spend 2 weeks in the hospital's NICU because they wanted to make sure he "knew how to feed and was gaining properly". The major problem with this was that there was no way for him to learn how to breastfeed when they would only allow him to take 2-3 feedings by breast (don't want to tire him out!) for a maximum of 30 minutes. Throw in some nipple confusion from bottle feeds, irritation from a naso-gastric tube, and an exhausted mama (c-sections aren't minor surgery, despite what some people may lead you to believe!) who can't pump enough breastmilk and, VOILA! You have just created a scenario that is ripe for failure-to-thrive in an otherwise-healthy baby and some nasty postpartum depression in a mother who, in 7 previous births (including a full-term stillbirth), has NEVER previously exhibited any symptoms.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: NICUs (and hospitals, in general) are great for helping people SURVIVE, but are absolutely lousy at helping them THRIVE.

And, for those of you who care to disagree with me, you certainly have that right. But, please spare me your stories of  "I have a friend who is a NICU nurse, and she says that...." or "My baby would have never learned how to eat if it weren't for the genius staff at our NICU.", That's nice. I have had plenty of  personal experience with several "top-notch" NICUs over my 17 years of "childbirthin'" and they all have 3 things in common:

1. They truly believe they possess more knowledge than any parent or "regular" physician out there.
2. This knowledge (even when proven to be incorrect) is 100% infallible.
3. They will hold onto babies MUCH longer than is necessary and use fear to undermine parents' belief in their own abilities to care for their children.

While I believe that there are some truly dedicated doctors and nurses out there (my family and I have benefited  from their fantastic care), their numbers are dwindling. Over the last 10 years, I have personally witnessed an dramatic increase in the use of technology in the medical field. And, while the intention may be to streamline and improve care, that does not seem to be the major effect that it is actually having in medicine. What I am seeing is a complete absence of hands-on, look-'em-in-the-eye care being replaced by look-at-the-machines-and-computer-print-outs "care". I'm not exaggerating in the least. It's disturbing.

But, I will save that all for a later post. ::grumble, grumble::

This post is about Will and the increase in love and joy he brings to our family! With every baby, we marvel at how we didn't seem to be "missing" anything in our family, yet with each blessed addition our family now feels "whole" and we can't imagine life without this new person. Once again, through Will, God has given us this great gift and we feel so humbled and privileged. Despite what some people say or think, this never gets old or boring. How could it? Each person, each new life is 100% different from any that have come before or will come after him. We are adding a new chapter to our family's book and I can't wait to see what happens!

Welcome, welcome William Luke! You bless us every day with your sweet and gentle presence! How we love you so!

My 7 beautiful babies together for the first time 10 days after Will's birth!

It's time for another Snapshots!!

I'm over here at the Donaldson's today, participating in another terrific Snapshots from a Sunday hosted by the talented Cari!

Give It Your Best Shot!

Really!

Baby #7 (shhhhhh! It's a boy!) is scheduled to arrive in less than 3 weeks! As with all of my other children, I'd like to mark his arrival with something unique and special. With each child, we've added on to the traditions that initiate a new member of our family, and I've run out of unique ideas (Give me a break! My brain has been doubly-fried by pregnancy AND bed rest!). I need your help!

As I just mentioned, we try to keep doing the already-established traditions, but add on a new one for each baby. So, here is the list:

Baby #1: We sang him "Happy Birthday" when he was born.

Baby #2: "Happy Birthday", plus we made sure to have a Baby Book ready and waiting to mark those first, few special days.

Baby #3: "Happy Birthday", Baby Book, and her brothers presented her with a special toy that they had shopped for and purchased just for her.

Baby #4: "Happy Birthday", Baby Book, Siblings' Gift, Special Homecoming outfit.

Baby #5: "Happy Birthday", Baby Book, Siblings' Gift, Special Homecoming outfit, Patron Saint medal.

Baby #6: "Happy Birthday", Baby Book, Siblings' Gift, Special Homecoming outfit, Patron Saint medal, Personalized baby blanket.


SO! What are some special "new baby" traditions are particular to your family? Have you heard of one that you'd like to try, but haven't gotten around to it yet?

What I like about our traditions is that they are nice mix of "things" and "actions", making them even more memorable. What are some easy ways that your family celebrates your bundles of joy?

I can't wait to hear your answers... and, HURRY!!! 

The One Where I Am Once Again Enlightened to My Opression

Not that I haven't been down this road a MILLION times before, but I had to have the "talk" with my OB on Wed. Here's how it went (slightly paraphrased, but not much cuz I'm still riled):

Dr: "I know I've asked you this before, but I just wanted to make sure.... you are NOT interested in a tubal ligation, right?"
Me: "That's correct."
Dr: "Is this because of a religious thing, or????"
Me: "You could say it stems from that."
Dr: "Because you can go to your priest or minister and tell them it's for medical reasons, and then we can do it."
Me: "If a Catholic priest is giving "permission" for things that the Catholic CHurch teaches are ALWAYS morally wrong, then he's a liar and a really bad Catholic, to boot. Priests are people, they are imperfect. That's why I always verify my facts with the source I know to be correct."
Dr: "OK, it's just that this is sooooo dangerous."
Me:" Let me ask you this... Have I come across as uneducated, ignorant, or fanatical in any way during this entire pregnancy? Have I not asked some very educated questions and discussed things with you calmly and rationally?"
Dr: "Oh, yes! Yes! You're very competent!"
Me: "Have I also not made it clear that my husband and I totally understand the risks involved and that WE stand the most to lose if something goes wrong?"
Dr: "Yes."
Me: "And, knowing all of these things about me and knowing that I know how frightening this can be, don't you think that if I disagreed with Natural Law and the teachings of my faith OR if I felt there was a loophole somewhere, I would be exploring it? Wouldn't I be the FIRST to try that? It just so happens that I AGREE with the reason for "why not". I understand that you are concerned for my physical health, but I have to be worried about so much more than just that."
Dr: "OK, OK. It's just that, by law, I'm required to ask."
Me: "Really? By LAW? I've had other health care providers that never asked, so either they were skirting the law or that's not really true."
Dr: "Well, what I mean is that you'd have to make that decision NOW, legally, and not wait any longer."
Me: "Well, that's a completely different thing, isn't it? And, I think I was pretty clear back in September when I said that it was something I would never, under ANY circumstances consider. There are very few things in life that I can say are 100% no-going-back-on decisions, but this is one of them. Sorry that the law made us waste your time like this." (I did say this with a wink and a grin, but still...).


This is a conversation that I've had in several other pregnancies with various providers (OBs and NPs). To me, it represents how stereotyping happens even in the most professional of circles (maybe ESPECIALLY there) and how even when you present yourself as lucid, well-informed, easy-to-dialogue-with, and reasonable, people STILL cannot use one iota of their imagination to try and understand what you are saying.

And, I was wearing make-up and nice clothes, too!


*This is for my good buddy, Dwija!

I'm visiting the Donaldsons today!

You guessed it: I fit right in!

I'm over here today hanging out with some very cool bloggers!












Actually, I'm just glad they let me hang out with them at all!


Happy Gobble-Gobble from my family to yours!

Who wants to participate in Snapshots from a Sunday this week?

It's time for another awesome Snapshots from a Sunday with Cari over at Clan Donaldson! Cari still has a few open slots for anyone who is interested being a part of this very fun (and easy!) "effort"! Click the Snapshots link above and everything you need to know is RIGHT THERE! (The World Wide Web is truly magical, my friends!)

So, come on and join me this Sunday! OK? I promise my feelings will not be hurt if you don't join in. Really.


OK, maybe those pesky hormonal feelings will be hurt a teensy-weensy bit.....