Peace

Today, I just needed to re-read and pray this:

Prayer of Saint Francis of Assisi

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury,pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.


O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen

 I needed to read it s.l.o.w.l.y. I needed to read it thoughtfully. I needed to read it prayerfully. It seems that there is a crapload lot of upheaval in the world all around us right now. It also seems that there is a lot of upheaval in my tiny "world within the world" lately.

Nothing horrific. Mostly just your garden-variety angst. Typical parenting stuff that you would expect in any family, maybe just ratcheted up a notch because our family is more than twice the size of the average family in the U.S.. So, while it's typical for a child to go through incredibly selfish stages of brattiness developmental phases that drive their parents into states of froth-mouthed insanity test their parents patience, it's a little more tricky when you have 3 or 4 kids going through different phases simultaneously. AND, one child's phase can, directly and indirectly, affect another child's phase. 

 What does this mean for parents like my husband and myself? Three things:

1. Prioritizing:  While each child's phase is important (especially to that child!), some phases require a more "hands-on" approach than others. This does not mean we ignore or downplay certain phases --hence, our exhaustion!--, it simply means that we deal with certain phases more directly and firmly than we do with others. And, it all works out in the end, because eventually you'll be that kid who is in that phase which merits "top priority" --- and you'll probably hate all the attention!
2. Teamwork:  Recently, my husband was on the other side of the freaking planet out of the country sightseeing and getting hours of uninterrupted sleep on business and I witnessed the absolute and total need for a two-parent home. Sorry,I am not single-parent-bashing here, just giving those single parents major kudos if they can make it through the child-raising years without selling their kids to the gypsies losing all sanity. Instead of saying, "Listen Mister, just wait until Daddy gets home tonight!", I found myself saying, "Listen Mister, just wait until we Skype with Daddy tonight!"; not an equally scary threat. It really does take two present parents to raise children, and sometimes a third parent would be ideal.
3. Prayer: Lots and lots of prayer. This does not include phrases uttered in exasperation, such as "Sweet Lord! Please remove the vocal chords from these children for just 5 minutes!". Wait. Maybe it does include phrases like that. As much as I know and talk about "giving all burdens over to God", it is really, really difficult to do that. Trust, hope, and pray. Trust, hope, and pray. C'mon, say it with me now!

Number three brings me right back to where I started: St. Francis.
THANK YOU, St. Francis. THANK YOU, Lord.
I need to be reminded to ask for peace, to let myself be used as a "instrument of peace", and that there is peace. Always.

WHAT is going on?

I really wish I had a nickel for every time I yelled (yes, I yell sometimes) the above sentence out to my children; I would be a wealthy woman by now. In all fairness to myself, it is truly a question that I ask with some incredulity, mixed with a good amount of annoyance. I really do wonder, "what in-the-name-of-all-that-is-holy-and-pure is going on with you goofballs?!?".

It is a question that is usually asked after I have been subjected to a long period of listening to them scream (usually not in anger or pain). Generally, other unidentifiable sounds are paired with these hoots and hollers; BANG, SLAM, BUMP! And, most of the time, at least one child leaves the fracas in a hurry, while giggling maniacally.

Am I surrounded by a bunch of raving lunatics? Quite possibly. (And, as we all know, nothing can make you crazier than an insane person.) But, more likely is the possibility that my children have too much imagination and not enough outlets for that kind of "energy".

So, should I sign them up for drama class? Should I start calling various agencies who represent child actors? Do I need to sign them up for art classes? Good Lord, I hope not!

I have finally figured out the answer to my problem: it is me! I am the one who needs to allow them to get a little loud and messy while they play with one another. I need to stop stepping in because I am annoyed by the noise level or amount of mess. I should only step in when it's getting so out of control that people are going to get hurt or property is being destroyed. And, to be perfectly frank, those two things happen very infrequently.

Did Michelangelo's mother stop him from painting because he splashed a little paint on the floor? Maybe, but I doubt it. Certainly, Edison's mother respected his need to putter around and learn at his own pace, and look where that got him (and us!)?

Now, I am not saying that I have little Michelangelos and Edisons running around my house (certainly not if they inherited too many of my genes!). What I am saying is that I can hardly expect healthy, happy children to sit quietly with a book 100% of the time, just so I can preserve my sense of peace. I know I have to look inward (and Heaven-ward!) to find that sense of peace, and let it work alongside my sense of humor.

I realize that it is quite easy to fall into the trap of worrying about keeping the house neat as a pin, or thinking that children should behave as if they are mini-adults. I am probably stuck in that trap 4 or 5 days out of every week! It takes a much gentler and more appreciative soul to look at their occasional rambunctiousness and rowdiness from a joyful perspective. Right now, I am striving to be that gentle and appreciative soul and love my kids in all their noise and activity levels!

And, that is what is going on!