Not The Ideal Situation

My husband and I have been waiting for this to happen. We had been hoping we would not have to deal with it, but it looks as though we have no choice now.

What am I talking about? The almighty ban on children visiting family members in the hospital due to H1N1 contamination fears.

Up until this point, our hospital (one of the biggest in our very large city), had only limited visitors if they were showing actual signs of the flu. Today, we found out that ANY child under the age of 16, healthy or sick, will be banned from visiting hospital patients. This includes children whose mother has just given birth to their newest sibling.

While I completely understand the need to keep people who have the flu (or are exhibiting flu-like symptoms) away from very sick people, patients recovering from surgery, or new babies, I cannot see what the difference is between allowing a "well" 20-something person to visit me and a "well" 2 year old visit me.

Here are my problem with "blanket" hospital policies:
-the incubation period for any strain of flu is the same in an adult as it is in a child. So, while
there is a statistically slightly higher chance of a child carrying more flu bugs than an adult
does, logically-speaking, both have almost the same chance of appearing healthy while
being contagious.
-making any policy so widespread for such a large population of patients (who all have
different reasons for being hospitalized) and such a large population of visitors is bound to
cause more panic than it is to prevent the spread of germs. Just this week, WHO (the World
Health Organization) published their findings from a study on countries who instituted
extremely strict "preventative measures". What did they find? That NONE of these
countries were even slightly more successful than other countries (who implemented less
drastic measures) at preventing the spread of H1N1. It's spreading, people; that's what the
flu does.
-The people who enforce any hospital policy on a "patient level" (staff-to-patient relation-
ship), are almost never the people who drafted the policy or participated in any discussions
as to the reasons why such a policy was created and implemented. So, these staff members
just know that they are required to enforce the policy, but they usually have no idea as to
why they do or what it means or how to apply any commonsense measures to a policy.
So, when your Average Josephine (me!) begins to question a nurse, or even a doctor, as to
why this policy is in place, or to suggest that it may not apply to every (or even most!) person,
Josephine is met with answers that have been memorized from a hospital "script" co-written
by the Legal Department and The Nameless Board. If Josephine actually goes even further
and makes suggestions as to how the policy could be improved so that it still accomplishes
what the hospital wants and it eases things for patients and their families, she is either
ignored altogether or written off as a "kook".
-Do not even get me started on the fact that "statistically" the most dangerous germs are
running rampant all over the same hospital, and pose a much greater risk to my new baby
does her healthy 9-year-old sister.

What all of this means for my family is that my husband and I will go into the hospital on an early Thursday morning, have our precious daughter delivered by c-section, and, with God's mercy, go home on Saturday (at the earliest). The entire time we are at the hospital, our other children (ages 14, 11, 9, 6, 2) will not see their mother or meet their new sister. Not because they are sick, but because they are lumped into a group which has a slightly higher chance of possibly carrying more germs than does a 30-something friend of mine who is allowed to visit.

Now, try explaining this all to a 2-year-old boy who has never been away from his parents for a night, and does not comprehend what this "new baby" thing is all about. I know from a lot of personal experience that a toddler adjusting to a new sibling is difficult enough in the best circumstances, but adding to that child's stress by not allowing him to see his mother or bond with this new "stranger" who just usurped his position as The Baby is just plain cruel.

In all the panic over flu germs and vaccinations and health care, not ONE person in "authority" has stopped to use any common sense when addressing these very valid concerns. And, if one more person in health care tells me that it's in the best interest of my baby, I am going to flip! I am my baby's mother; my husband and I are the people most concerned with her well-being because we love her! We take our vocations as parents extremely seriously and educate and inform ourselves (as we have done in this case) to the very best of our abilities in all areas that might possibly concern our children. After all, we have the most to lose, don't we? And, in one tragic instance, we have lost the most. We do not take our responsibilities lightly. Ever.

Our family's best hope, at this point, is to have a safe and healthy delivery for both Mom and Baby, followed by a very healthy and very, very short stay in the hospital, ending with an extremely joyful and positive reunion of the whole family at home. Please keep us in your thoughts and prayers in ALL of these areas.

Maternity Clothes? You can HAVE them!

I will be the very first to say that, these days, it's uncommon to find a woman who has been wearing maternity clothes (periodically!) for the last 14 1/2 years. But, I fit (no pun intended) that description exactly.

I will also freely admit that, within the last 14 1/2 years, maternity clothes have improved in fit and variety. I will also freely admit that they could not have gotten much worse --- denim overalls on a bulbous figure? What idiot thought that was a good idea?

Which brings me to the point of this post: who is in charge of designing and producing maternity clothes? It certainly is NOT anyone who has ever been pregnant with her 7th large baby during a hot summer, and who also possesses a short stature and is very short-waisted.

More than likely, I suspect that the designers' panel consists of an 18-year-old-girl, a crusty old bachelor, and a circus clown. It's the only possible explanation for why a maternity store would try to sell a very tight, short t-shirt in neon horizontal stripes paired with a pair of very low-riding capri leggings. Of course any woman in her 3rd trimester would love to parade around town in an outfit that not only highlights all of her most prominent features, but constricts her already compromised airways, while simultaneously causing her maternity "bloomers" to fall to her ankles.

And, the word "parade" accurately describes how, at almost 32 weeks along, I am feeling about my appearance: like a splendid and very large float in a single-float parade. On my really good days, when I catch a glimpse of myself walking down the street, the image of a penguin kicking a beach-ball comes to mind. So, yes, I would love to draw even more attention to myself by wearing uncomfortable, tight, short, and colorful clothing. Who wouldn't?

For any of you who have been pregnant recently, I have two words for you: MATERNITY JEANS. What was that? I think I just heard a collective growl, tinged with a bit of regret at paying a ridiculous sum of money for a piece of clothing that is designed to drive a woman out of her mind. Is it not bad enough that our usual gracefulness that has been impeded by a major change in our center of gravity is ALSO compromised by a denim torture chamber? Hike up that stretchy waistband 500 times a day! Roll up the cuffs you keep tripping over! Rip off those nightmarish pants and throw them into your closet with a primal scream! And, that's just Day 1! (Most maternity jeans never make it to Day 2.)

Now, I am sure that the fore-mentioned "designers' panel", along with some very foolhardy husbands of pregnant women, will say that it's just my hormones combined with the advanced stage of my pregnancy that are causing me to have such strong opinions about maternity-wear. To be fair, I am sure those things do not help my mood. But, for any person who does not believe that maternity clothes are designed for pregnant 12-year-olds should don one of those horrid "pregnancy suits" (with the big bellies and bottoms), choose two items of clothing from any maternity collection, and wear the whole get-up in public for 3 weeks.

Only then will I deign to even speak to you... as soon as I can waddle over.

Mom! What's For Dinner?

That is the most-dreaded question of my day. And, being that four of my kids are boys, that question is usually first asked right after breakfast (I am not joking, even slightly).

Hey, do not misunderstand me! I like eating dinner as much as the next guy, and I do not even mind making dinner (on most nights!). However, I detest coming up with dinner ideas which will please all the particular palates in my house. There is one dinner that makes everybody at our table happy: meat (roast beef, chicken, or turkey) and mashed potatoes. Once I veer away from that menu, it is a indisputable fact that at least one person will dislike whatever meal is on the table. Since our oldest child could verbalize his displeasure, my husband made the hard-and-fast rule that no one can say he/she does not "like" the meal, that person can state that he/she does not "care for" that particular meal. It may not seem like much, but to the ears of the chef, it sounds a lot less hostile!

Long ago I gave up the idea of trying to please every person, and instead aimed to please most family members. As long as you can ignore the sad, puppy-dog eyes and the mournful sighs, this approach works most of the time. But, there are days when it is very difficult to sit through a meal when you are flanked by people pushing food around their plates, then, as soon as dinner is over, watching those people rush to the cabinet that holds the bread and peanut butter to make themselves a sandwich.

The actual meal is not what bothers me the most, though. What really saps my creative juices is coming up with an entire dinner menu that sounds new, exciting, and delicious only to be asked the dreaded question, "Mom! What's for dinner?". It may not look like it, but that is when my palms get sweaty and my knees starting shaking. I try to look enthusiastic, as I stammer out the different "courses", only to have my nervous attempts prematurely shut down by one of my tweens' disappointed looks. These looks are often followed by the comment, "Sounds good, Mom. Do we have any yogurt or luncheon meat?".

In recent years, a new "dinner rule" has been instituted: no child may ask Mom about dinner until she is actually cooking it. The only person that is made happy by this rule is me, as I no longer feel the need to change a dinner menu at the last minute, or be ridden with unnecessary guilt for six hours. What the children do not realize, is that this rule does save them from a crabby mother and six hours of energy-sapping whining. A "win-win" situation, in my book.

I have learned that the saying "You can't please all of the people, all of the time." is very true; especially when "all of the people" are under eighteen and very opinionated. What does work is trying rotate through a series of dinner menus that please half of the people, half of the time. The nice surprise has been that, very occasionally, one member of the "other half" tries the food that he/she does not "care for", and finds that it actually tastes good! A small victory, but it's better than watching that child lean on the counter while he/she eats a container of yogurt after dinner.

So, what's for dinner at your house tonight?

WHAT is going on?

I really wish I had a nickel for every time I yelled (yes, I yell sometimes) the above sentence out to my children; I would be a wealthy woman by now. In all fairness to myself, it is truly a question that I ask with some incredulity, mixed with a good amount of annoyance. I really do wonder, "what in-the-name-of-all-that-is-holy-and-pure is going on with you goofballs?!?".

It is a question that is usually asked after I have been subjected to a long period of listening to them scream (usually not in anger or pain). Generally, other unidentifiable sounds are paired with these hoots and hollers; BANG, SLAM, BUMP! And, most of the time, at least one child leaves the fracas in a hurry, while giggling maniacally.

Am I surrounded by a bunch of raving lunatics? Quite possibly. (And, as we all know, nothing can make you crazier than an insane person.) But, more likely is the possibility that my children have too much imagination and not enough outlets for that kind of "energy".

So, should I sign them up for drama class? Should I start calling various agencies who represent child actors? Do I need to sign them up for art classes? Good Lord, I hope not!

I have finally figured out the answer to my problem: it is me! I am the one who needs to allow them to get a little loud and messy while they play with one another. I need to stop stepping in because I am annoyed by the noise level or amount of mess. I should only step in when it's getting so out of control that people are going to get hurt or property is being destroyed. And, to be perfectly frank, those two things happen very infrequently.

Did Michelangelo's mother stop him from painting because he splashed a little paint on the floor? Maybe, but I doubt it. Certainly, Edison's mother respected his need to putter around and learn at his own pace, and look where that got him (and us!)?

Now, I am not saying that I have little Michelangelos and Edisons running around my house (certainly not if they inherited too many of my genes!). What I am saying is that I can hardly expect healthy, happy children to sit quietly with a book 100% of the time, just so I can preserve my sense of peace. I know I have to look inward (and Heaven-ward!) to find that sense of peace, and let it work alongside my sense of humor.

I realize that it is quite easy to fall into the trap of worrying about keeping the house neat as a pin, or thinking that children should behave as if they are mini-adults. I am probably stuck in that trap 4 or 5 days out of every week! It takes a much gentler and more appreciative soul to look at their occasional rambunctiousness and rowdiness from a joyful perspective. Right now, I am striving to be that gentle and appreciative soul and love my kids in all their noise and activity levels!

And, that is what is going on!

How DO I do it?

If you are a parent of more than three kids, you are frequently asked, "How do you do it?" (of course, it's almost always accompanied by an incredulous look). Last night was no exception to that rule.

I was leading a Parents Club meeting at our younger kids' school, and, as it was the first meeting of the school year, decided to have everyone in the group (no, it was not well-attended!) take a turn introducing himself/herself. It was only fair that I begin the exercise, and so launched into my standard explanation of our family: "My husband and I have five kids. The oldest is in high school, the younger four attend this school. And, we have a baby girl due in December." I will spare you the details of the very few people who chose to give me a look of disgust (not kidding!). I have become used to the usual comments ("Wow! You are an expert!" or "God Bless You!"), and chose to play them off humorously and move the meeting along.

It was not until the meeting was over that one of the moms there came up to me and said, "I really want to know: How do you do it? Six kids? I have two and I'm losing my mind! Are you just a really patient person?"

While pointing to my stomach, I replied, "Well, the sixth one is pretty easy and quiet so far, so I have no issues with her yet! As for the other ones, I honestly don't know how I do it! I DO remember that I almost lost MY mind when I had two kids, though!"

I went on to explain that my oldest two are almost three years apart, and when the second one was about a month old, I was lamenting to my older son's toddler teacher that it was "sooooo hard" to take care of both of the boys. The teacher had two kids who were grade-school-age, but also 3 years apart, and she said something which I will never forget, "At these ages, this is the hardest it will ever get. These two guys are labor intensive, high-need, and totally dependent on you for everything. It only gets easier from here on out!" And, do you know what? She was RIGHT!

Another thing I learned was that it was OK to ask my older child to help me with small things. For example, "helping me" by being quiet while the baby napped, or helping me by making a peanut butter sandwich for himself and me while I nursed the baby (yes, even a three-year-old can make a pretty decent PB&J!). This accomplished two things: 1) it really DID help me in small ways, and 2) it convinced my older son that he was capable of doing so many things all by himself! When talking to this other mom last night, I did , however, include the caveat that while young kids can certainly do things by themselves, they will not be to "adult standards", but this should not discourage either the parent or the child.

Another thing that we are all guilty of (myself included!) is that we tend to think of our kids as if they are frozen in time. We think that little Clyde will never stop having temper tantrums in public. Or, that tiny Suzy will always need her mommy to help her in the bathroom. But, that is just not true! Children do, by nature and God's good graces, mature sooner than we think! They begin to be able to do most things for themselves, and only come to us occasionally for help or advice. This does not mean that they do not need us anymore! It means that they need us less in a "labor intensive" way, and increasingly in an emotional and intellectual way.

I tried to explain that I was not raising six children who were all at the same ages and levels of development, but, rather, I was raising six children who are all at varying degrees on the developmental plane. Certainly, a teen or pre-teen can understand that he has to patiently wait to ask me a question, while I deal with a very crabby two-year-old's temper tantrum. I explained that I am not sitting in the midst of six crying, hungry children day after day!

I could see that while she was "getting it" on one level (the "oh, yes, 14-year-olds make great babysitters!" level), she was not seeing that there is an inherent beauty and sense of wonderment in raising "many" kids of varying ages. I am not sure that I can explain how valuable and wonderful it is to see my nine-year-old daughter happily fixing her two-year-old brother his favorite snack as if she is his second mother. I do not really know how to explain the feelings of overwhelming love and tenderness I experience when my six-year-old tells me (with hero-worship in his eyes), "When I grow up and go to high school, I am going to go to the same high school my big brother goes to!". Those are the moments when you realize just how truly blessed you are to have all these beautiful souls surrounding you!

Of course, I had to be honest with the other mom, and tell her that I still have bad days... Even bad weeks. There are plenty of occasions where I feel overwhelmed, under-prepared, and completely helpless. I really do not think that that is particular to being a mother of many children. I think it is particular to being a mother, though. I explained that having a bad day does not make you a bad mom, it just makes you human; it is a fact we all need to be reminded of every once in a while.

And, to be completely truthful, being a mother to one, two, or twenty children is a demanding job. I think most of us are shocked when the realization of just how difficult and permanent it truly is! In my opinion, though, we cannot use this first shock as an excuse to "give up"; whether "giving up" means not trying to do our best, or "giving up" means limiting the number of children with which we are blessed. We should try not to confuse "difficult" with "impossible".

So, I will practice what I preach, and on my most "impossible" days, I will choose to overcome the "difficulties" by looking for (or, at least remembering!) all the ways I am blessed by my vocation of motherhood.

I cannot say what that mother was thinking when she left the meeting last night; she did seem a little dissatisfied with my answers. It seemed she thought that because I had many kids, that I must have found the Fountain of Perfect Parenting. Maybe she was a little disappointed to hear that there is no secret to being a "good" parent. Being a "good" parent is a lot of hard work, worry, and aggravation. But, being a "good" parent is also a lot of joy, love, and laughter, as well. It is your choice which type of "good" parent you want to be.

Change Is In The Air

Yesterday was a big day for our family: we learned that the baby who we are so eager to meet this December is... a... GIRL!

OK, so maybe it was a bigger day for some members of our family, than others. Our four sons were all rather quiet when my husband and I showed them the ultrasound pictures. Their 9-year-old sister was beyond elated and shocked. I have to think that the rather unladylike "in your face!" comments she made to her brothers had something to do with their unusually quiet reactions.

As a female and a girl who waited through 9 1/2 years (and 2 brothers) to finally "get a sister", I understood how my daughter was feeling; although, not completely, as I never had to deal with waiting for a baby sister and then learning that she died before we ever had the chance to meet. So, this new baby sister is even more special.

As "spoiled" as my daughter can seem at times (especially to her brothers), she is (through no one's fault) living a life that is a bit isolated.
Sure, she has her own room, but she misses out on the late-night giggles and secrets I hear her brothers sharing every night in their shared rooms.
Yes, she never has to wear hand-me-downs, but she has also never has the special moments of hero-worship when she hands down a special piece of clothing to a younger sibling who acts as if it's made of pure gold.
I also see the pure joy on her face as she plays with her many girl cousins and friends from school. I know she is thinking, "Now HERE are people who understand why purple, grape lip-gloss is EXCITING!", or something along those lines.

Of course, she also has a pretty unique perspective on males, in general, and her brothers, in particular. She has no problem playing with her brothers when the games they are playing are interesting to her (and they often are). Her teachers have often commented that she gets along equally well with both female and male classmates, which is not the "norm" for most children her age. I also see a really healthy, and uncommon, competitiveness in her demeanor which enables her to believe that she really can do anything she wants to do, or at least to try. Also, her father is pretty impressed that she can take an accidental shot to the head with a basketball during a pick-up game and just shake it off and keep playing.

With the impending arrival of her new sister, there are some pieces of information regarding younger sisters which I would like to share with her. However, I know that her experience will be different from mine, and, more importantly, I just cannot rain on her happy parade right now.

I cannot tell her that an almost-10 year age difference makes for a pretty lengthy delay in sharing late-night stories, giggles, and secrets. Something like a 20 year delay.
I cannot tell her that this sister will eventually come to an age where she does NOT wanted to be treated like doll, whose only purpose is to be dressed and coiffed by her older sister.
I cannot tell her that, most times, hero-worship has to be earned.

Right now, all I can do is enjoy the moment with her. She and I can surf the web together, looking for matching sister outfits for Christmas. We can plan out how she and her sister will divide the dresser drawers in her (now "their"!) room. And, she and I can both enjoy the small tempering of testosterone in our home --- it's been a LONG time coming!

What a Chore!

Lately, I have been fielding some questions on my kids' chore list and various related topics, so I thought I would use this post to explain how and why we handle this area.

Actually, when I had only two or three young kids (who had chores!) it bemused me when people would act surprised that my husband and I would expect them to participate in "housekeeping duties". People wanted to know why we "forced" our kids to help clear the dinner table or unload the dryer. Were we paying them an allowance or giving them "gold stars" (???) on a chart? (The answer is no to both questions.)

The whole "chore thing" evolved very naturally from both my husband's and my upbringings; we were raised in families where each member participated in helping to make the family home a nice place to live. After all, if each of us like to eat meals (and from clean dishes!), wear clean clothes, and have a clean floor to walk on, then it falls to each member of the family to help keep the house in some kind of order. The family home "belongs" to each member, and when something belongs to you, you naturally have a sense of pride and investiture in that thing.

So, it just seemed natural to both my husband and me to assume that, just as we included our children in other aspects of family life (meals, vacations, etc), we would also include them in the care-taking aspect of family life. It was only when other people began to question us as to why we would do such a thing, that I began to analyze our reasons more closely.

The first reason outlined above -- a sense of pride and belonging -- was the first and most obvious reason to me. I could see a real sense of joy and pride on my 20-month-old's face as he carefully walked the salad dressing from the fridge to the dinner table; he was helping Mom and Dad get ready for dinner!

The next reason that occurred to me was that I was preparing my kids for the rest of their lives. Before you start to think that I'm getting overly dramatic and puffed-up about a 9-year-old taking out the garbage, remember this: the child who is expected to clean up after himself, eventually makes the leap to the college student who can keep his dorm room AND his college classes organized (i.e. the less new things he has to cope with, the better his chances of academically succeeding).

Thirdly, after child #3 made her appearance, it was beginning to dawn on me that doing the cooking, cleaning, laundry, and errand-running for five people was not something that could successfully be achieved by only one person. Yes, it could be done, but it was not done well or without a cost (my sanity, for one thing!). I was relating my stress and feelings of failure to my oldest son's teacher, who then looked quizzically at me and said, "Do you think that I should not expect the kids in my class to help clean up a spill or clean up something they are finished working on? Because, I do expect them to participate in all aspects of classroom life. I would not be able to teach even one lesson, if I spent my entire day cleaning up after these kids!". To quote a celebrity I'm not too fond of, it was a "light bulb" moment for me. Being a "mom" was not the equivalent of being a slave! Duh! So, now one of my favorite sayings to my kids is, "Did I dirty all the dishes that are in that sink? No? So, maybe we can all take turns cleaning up the mess we all made."

So, do my kids get an allowance for these chores? Nope. I believe that helping to make our home a nice, livable place should be the reward in and of itself. If I have extra chores that I would like them to do, I post them on our dry-erase board along with the dollar amount I am willing to pay and any child that would like that 1-time extra job (and money!) can write his/her initials next to that job. Just on observation, I have seen rewards like allowances and gold-star charts fail time and again because the reward loses it's allure. If I expect that my child is able and should have a certain chore, and I explain why ("it helps our family, it makes our home more inviting to friends") they are expected to do it, then I don't have to field any arguments/statements such as, "I don't feel like loading the dishwasher. I don't care if I don't get an allowance this week.".

Does all of this mean that my husband and I are slave-drivers, who sit on our couch and pick up our feet so the kids can sweep underneath them? Gosh, that would be nice! However, if I expect my kids to take pride in their home, then I have to set a good example. Things like cooking, some of the laundry, some garbage duty, driving, shopping, changing diapers, nursing babies, etc still fall to me to complete (hopefully, cheerfully!). The rest of the chores, are divvied up between everyone else. At the end of this post, I will give an example of what chores are appropriate/expected for certain age groups in our home.

OK, so when do I let my kids "be kids"? Well, I say, who the heck could STOP them from being kids?! The oldest child's actual TOTAL time spent doing chores each day, averages a little less than an hour (give or take the day, and how much he drags his feet!). That leaves plenty of time to play, read, relax, goof around, or watch TV. I have met the children (who will remain nameless, mostly because there are too many to name!) who are not expected to lift a finger in their own homes, and they are usually (not always) disinterested in schoolwork, always looking to be entertained, and generally unconscious of anyone else's needs. The flip side of this is the children who are expected to participate in household chores: they are usually (again, not always!) excited about new academic challenges, eager to find things to do, and very conscious of other people's physical and emotional needs. (If you are the parent of a child whose biggest "chore" is to brush his own teeth, but you swear he is going to be the doctor who cures cancer while running 3 soup kitchens... well, call me when this actually comes to pass.)
Also, (to paraphrase Spiderman) with increased responsibility come increased privileges! Obviously, if you can show me that you can cheerfully accomplish your chores and wake up on time every day, then I can extend your bedtime by 30 to 60 minutes (depending on age). If you show me that you are responsible enough to wipe up a spills you make without my asking you and keep your room tidy, then I can trust you to ride your bike to the library by yourself. These are just examples, and only you know what privileges are appropriate for your kids, but don't forget that you need to recognize their growing abilities and responsibilities, too! How it makes their little faces light up!

All this being said, the proof is always in the pudding and am still waiting on the finished product. I do have some pretty good examples in myself, my husband, and all of our siblings (15 in total!); we are all fairly well-rounded adults, who lead active, productive, and happy lives. Those of us who are married have an understanding of the give-and-take of this vocation, and those of us who are parents also understand the sacrifices involved; so far, no one has been overly shocked at the work involved, nor the at the awesome rewards received. Most of the time, I think we view chores as a part of life, not as a drudgery to avoid. Going to work is "what you do", not something to constantly complain about and avoid. Would we have turned out differently if our parents had not "involved" us in household chores as children? I cannot be sure, but I do have some "anecdotal evidence" of our peers in similar life-stations, and they don't seem to be as well-adjusted. Just an observation, mind you.

So, if my opinion counts for anything (this matter is up for debate in many circles!), I say, "Don't be afraid to include your children in household chores!". It can be rewarding and enriching for all of you, and, guaranteed, everyone will learn something!


EXAMPLE OF CHORE EXPECTATIONS FOR KIDS UNDER 4 YEARS OLD:
-help set and clear table (does not have to be done to adult standards; learning that the fork goes to the left of the plate can be taught later, over time.)
-sweep crumbs from table with small hand-broom and dustpan
-help Mom, Dad, older sibling switch loads of laundry (can add soap, turn dials, press buttons)
-help fold his/her own laundry (again, will not be to adult standards) and put away in drawers
-dusting!
-"wash" dishes (more fun for them, than for you, but they do eventually gain some knowledge!)
-clean up the spills he/she makes (again, not to adult standards, but you can finish up when they are not looking!)
-do weeding and planting in a garden (Thanks to Diane for reminding me of this!)
-Keep his/her own room neat and tidy
-put away toys that he/she plays with (younger kids will need some encouragement/direction)

EXAMPLE OF CHORE EXPECTATIONS FOR KIDS 4-7 YEARS OLD:
-more involved in setting and clearing of table (can put flatware in proper places, wrap up leftovers, rinse dishes)
-unload silverware from dishwasher (actually, some personalities are really suited and soothed by placing all the pieces in their correct places!)
-sweep floors and vacuum area rugs
-take dirty laundry to laundry room and help switch loads.
-fold own laundry and put it away
-clean windows and mirrors (a small spray bottle filled with vinegar/water mixture and paper towel are all they need!)
-Simple cleaning jobs, such as a small bathroom sink or polishing a wood side table.
-Keep bedroom clean
-put away his/her own toys and offer help to younger siblings
-help put away non-perishable items from grocery store

EXAMPLES OF CHORE EXPECTATIONS FOR 7-10 YEAR OLDS:
-unload plates, bowls, glasses, etc from dishwasher and kids older than 8 can even load the dishwasher quite well!
-take out garbage
-set and clear table
-sweep and vacuum floors
-make his/her own lunch for school*** Actually, my kids start taking lunches at age 5 and I have NEVER made a lunch for them. If they pack their own lunch, then they will be more likely to know how much to take and only take the foods they like (you must "supervise nutritionally"!), so NO WASTE!*****
-mop floors and vacuum bigger areas
-carry groceries into house from car and help put away
-can handle (and usually enjoy!) cleaning a powder room or straightening a living room.
-Switch loads of laundry from washer to dryer (this is better as a "team sport")
-Keep bedroom clean
-help younger children with their chores, if needed
-pet care

EXAMPLE OF CHORE EXPECTATIONS FOR 10 THROUGH TEEN YEARS:
-All of the above chores listed are appropriate for this age and can continue in differing ways, as older kids will have more homework, more demanding sport schedules, and even jobs!
-babysitting
-small errand running (kids on bikes can return library books, run to the corner store to buy milk, while driving teens -- I can't wait! -- can grocery shop or carpool younger sibs to friends' houses)
-yard work, such as mowing lawns.