How Do I Re-Gain My Sanity?

Good question!
You may think that because of the title of this blog, that my sanity is long gone, never to return. And, you may be correct in that assumption.

But, don't let yourself be duped into thinking that I don't, occasionally, try to get some semblance of sanity back. Because, I DO. I try.

And, not all of my methods include alcohol.

Sometimes, after a particularly rough day, I hand over all parental responsibility to my wonderful husband and escape to our (blessedly) soundproof bathroom in the basement. I run the bathwater as hot as I can stand it, add any available bubbles (baby shampoo will do), light a couple of candles, and sink slowly into muscle-relaxing bliss.

Too "Calgon, Take Me Away" for you?

Mid-day stress? I put that baby in his stroller, and head out for a very brisk walk. I'll do this in most kinds of weather, but if it's too nasty out, a shopping mall is another alternative. I always bring my iPod along, and listen with only one earbud so I can hear the baby. Something about breathing fresh (or, RETAIL!) air, clears my mind and gives me a fresh perspective.

OK, so you're not a walker... Or, your baby loathes the stroller....

When I feel like the voices in my house (and in my head!) are driving me to complete nuttiness and I have to run a ton of errands, I get in my car and, on my way to my next chore, I take the emptiest street I can find. Once I'm pretty sure that the area is deserted, I roll down all the windows and scream the worst cuss word I can think of, as loud and long as I can.
I wouldn't recommend doing this with kids in the car, though. You do not want to take that phone call from a teacher.

So, you're feeling crazy and a little blue? Here's a quick sanity-saving pick-me-up:
Watch any of the Lifetime Channel's original movies. You will see your life in a much, much better light. Your husband/children/boss/dog will automatically look like living saints, and you will probably have gotten a very cathartic (albeit, cheesy) cry out of the whole experience.

And, all kidding aside, you are not an alcoholic if you and your husband (or, a friend) like to relax with a glass of wine/beer after the kiddies go to bed. In moderation, it can have a very soothing effect and it "takes the edge off" of a bad day. Life was meant to be enjoyed, so have a little two-person celebration!

For the sake of argument, I would like to raise the point that, sometimes, insanity is a nice place to live. Taking a break from reality can be a cheap and fun vacation. It lends itself to some creative thinking and keeps you from getting too serious about life. Heck, my kids love it when my trips to the Land of Insanity end up with me dancing to the Cha-cha Slide and serving ice cream for dinner. When I let go, I let it all go.

Don't forget: the psychiatric hospitals serve three square meals every day, cable TV, and patients have no responsibilities.
How bad could it be?