I'm sure this is probably true of most people, but it just hit me the other day: I can be really good at things if I decide to be good at them. Could explain a large portion of my high school years.
Not exactly an epiphany, I know, but it struck me in the middle of cleaning the bathroom.
There I was scrubbing the yucky crevice where the toilet meets the floor and I was grumbling at how the cleaning service (don't judge me!) who comes every other week seems to always miss this spot.
"I mean, how hard is it to take 2 extra minutes and just scrub this? It makes all the difference and they just won't do it! Look at me! It's taken me all of 45 seconds to scrub it out and it looks brand new! Why WON'T they do that?" Grrr......
Then, it hit me: I'm good at it because I have a vested interest in keeping my house clean. I do a good job at cleaning because I want to do a good job.
So, of course, I continued onto the rest of the bathroom and while my hands worked my mind carried on with this train of thought....
When my husband and I got married at a comparatively young age (almost 21 and 20! gasp!), and then proceeded to have children right away, I am sure people wondered if we could hack it as a couple and as parents.
Marrying my husband and having kids was exactly what I wanted. I couldn't wait to be good at it. I was the person in pre-Cana class and, then, in childbirth class who annoys everyone else with her copious note-taking and question-asking. I wasn't going to leave any stone unturned. I was going to try my hardest at being the best wife and mother possible.
It's the same when I try a new recipe or make a new friend. I really want to make that beef stew perfectly. I absolutely have to make my new friend comfortable and happy in my presence.
But, present me with a challenge that doesn't interest me and I'm a completely different person (hence, 5th grade math class issues!). For example, I wanted to take up knitting as a hobby. It's not that I don't understand the mechanics involved, or that I'm afraid I won't be able to produce a recognizable item. It was simply this: when I thought about it, it seemed pointless. I barely have enough time in my day to complete household tasks, care for kids, volunteer at school, and have a 5 minute conversation with my husband. When am I going to find time to knit a blanket, and why? Target has lots of blankets on Clearance all the time!
I think the answer to my own "issues" with my "thwarted perfectionism" is to really try to be good at all the things that come my way. Even the things that are boring, or truly repulsive (i.e. folding and putting away laundry).
So, how do I factor in this blog? Easy! This is my S.O.S., my one cry for help! This blog allows me to say, "Hey! Here I am! I'm not completely crazy, just really distracted! I share a lot of the same feelings everyone else has! Hear me out before you judge me!"
OK, now I'm off to attack that basket of clean laundry that I have been trying to ignore for 2 days......