Wednesday, April 20, 2011

It's Official!

Totally. There is not one shred of sanity left in me (as if the blog's title didn't already clue you in). AND, I have now infected my darling husband with a big ol' case of the crazies. OK, here we go. Deep breath...

We are going to Disney World!!!!*

*I know all you snitches out there thought I was announcing another pregnancy, didn't you?

Yes, that's right! As in:
"MK, you've just birthed an amazing amount of gorgeous children and then they told you the last one shredded your uterus! Where are you going?!?"
"Well, Bob, I'm going to Disney World!"

Well, that's actually pretty close to the truth. A mere 5 hours after our last precious dumpling made her violent way into the world and the reality of the life-threatening danger that another pregnancy would be for me & baby, I looked at my husband and said, "I want to go to Disney. Not today, but before all the older kids leave the nest." He said "OK", because as all you married mommies out there know, once your husband has watched you birth his baby, he feels like maybe he should give in on a few things. Score! Wait, honey, if you're reading this, I don't mean a word of it. It's all about keeping the readers entertained.

"But, wait", you say, "That was almost 17 months ago! What the heck?!" I know! I thought the same thing, too! To be perfectly honest, I thought that, maybe, my sweet ba-boo was using all the "Disney Money" for food gas electric other things and he had no intention of making good on his "OK". What a little fool I can be! My husband's company finally gave out sizable bonuses *those jackholes have been making their employees jump through ridiculous hoops for years* and after cursing out the Federal government for taking almost half paying off some debts and putting away some money, my gorgeous husband set a generous budget for a trip to Disney which we have already exceeded.

Before you get all "well, ain't she fancy and hoity-toity, what with her trips to see gigantic mice?", please understand that we are losers simple folk. We got married so young and poor, that we honeymooned I schmidt you, not! in Appalachia. Yes, we drove 10 hours to Gatlinburg/Pigeon Forge, TN and STILL did not have enough spending money to go to Dollywood. For the first 9 years of our marriage, any vacation we took happened to be at rented summer homes; we had never flown on an airplane together. Four kids together, but zero airplane rides. Then, my husband's employer was going to send him to a conference in New York City and would pay for my plane ticket, too. Well, hee-haw! We somehow scrounged up the money for airfare for our kids and we spent 4 humid and hot glamorous days in The Big Apple! Then, 5 years later, my husband's new employer was sending him to a conference in Vegas and he said, "Why don't you & the baby come along?" after I threatened certain body parts and told him he'd never go to that den of iniquities without me. So, we flew to Vegas for 4 days with an 8 month old, only to discover that I was extremely ill with strep throat.

So, you see, not only do my husband & I not take fancy-schmancy trips, but our kids have not had these experiences, either. This is a big freaking deal to the entire family! Add that to my penchant for list-making and obsessing over every last thing that could possibly go wrong Spring isn't hurricane season in FL, is it? How bad is the bed bug epidemic there?, and you have a family ripe for the possibility of F.U.N!

Meanwhile, our kids are helping out by catching every last infectious disease known to humankind, and injuring various body parts. 'Cuz, our family motto is, "If someone ain't sick, wait 'til they are before you leave for vacation!"! Oh, and the baby's sprained ankle has recovered just enough for her to unpack all the suitcases I've just packed, while simultaneously filling the same suitcase with granola crumbs.

After Disney, my man and I want to take a "real" honeymoon in Mexico or Jamaica! But, first, I'd have to get a passport. Told you I am a loser!


  1. Wow! That is so awesome! Mary Kate, I am really excited for you and your family.

  2. And, as for the case for insanity being contagious... I rest my case. Honey, you *do* know you're going on this vacation with us, right?

  3. Hahahaha!!!! Oh my gosh, I am cracking up...."gigantic mice". Hysterical! Oh, and the small humans unpacking things as you are packing them- oh yes, I know that routine all too well.

    How super exciting :D

  4. @-dweej: Thanks! I've been told that my excitement has now turned into obsession, and I should tone it down. Whatever. My husband and mom are just haters, I guess. lol

  5. I am super jealous! We did the D'land thing in 2008 when my "baby" was finally potty trained. (yes, feel free to laugh at me) We all had an amazing time!

  6. So happy for you. What a BRAVE soul you are!!
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