And, here I sit...

I have always said that each pregnancy is as different as the baby it births, and this pregnancy is certainly no exception. 

Since I was 5 weeks along, I have been on "modified" bed rest. "What's 'modified' bed rest?", you ask? Well, I'd like to know that answer to that, too. As best as I can determine, it means that I'm not supposed to push, pull or lift heavy things (toddler children, included), rest "as much as possible" (um, does anyone realize that I have SIX other children?), don't walk/stand around for very long, and drink a lot of water (kinda counteracts the "resting" eventually, doncha think?). 

All of the above directions are somewhat relative depending on who is interpreting them. While my doctor might be envisioning me lying on the couch, with a glass of ice water in my hand, whilst I doze on and off, my interpretation (my REALITY) is vastly different. I really do sit as much as possible (feeling like a lazy jerk the entire time) and when my older kids are home it's much easier because they can let the dog in and out the door, play with younger siblings, etc. But, when it's just me (and the younger 1 or 2 kiddos), I really can't ignore the dog's barking, or the toddler table-dancing in a shower of iodized salt, or my hunger. 

Truly, it would be easier (in a sense) if my doctor told me, "Don't move your pregnant posterior out of bed unless the house is on fire.". In that case, I'd be able to drop most of the guilt and stay put. In that case, my husband wouldn't look at me and say, "Well, maybe you could walk with us to the park???". In that case, I would be able to clearly explain to others why sometimes I feel like I can get away with a short, small trip to the grocery store or 45 minutes in the Adoration Chapel, while other times, I feel like driving to my kids' school to drop them off is "too risky".

You see, this vagueness leaves me with an odd combination of feeling overly guilty while also feeling overly angry with people who just "don't get it" why I'm "lazing around so much". 

As is looks now, my doctor feels pretty sure that as we get further along into the 2nd trimester, I'll be on "full" bed rest, perhaps even in the hospital. I really hope there's a pamphlet with definitive guidelines on the Dos and Don'ts of "full" bed rest.